Everyone knows that the Russians hacked into our election and changed computer results to give the electoral college votes from Florida, Ohio, West Virginia, Michigan, Indiana, and Pennsylvania to Donald Trump, and probably used some kind of hypnosis machine to make people vote for Trump through hacking of some kind, but what are we gonna do about it?
By Antifa Sarcasmian
As “everyone” knows, Russia hacked our election. How do you hack an election? It’s very, very complicated hacker-stuff that I know about, but I’m not going get into that because I don’t want the general public fiddling around with the election. I’ll give you a hint, though: you need to install gentoo. That’s all you get. I’ve already said too much. But anyhow, we are officially at WAR with Russia, and we need to start a nuclear war now. I say just nuke ’em all. My Cold War paranoia tells me that Russians are up to something. If you’ve ever played DotA with Russians, you know they’re all hackers.
Pictured above: A typical Russian playing DotA, and probably hacking
Some people will tell you that the best hackers are from Romania, but that’s a bunch of nonsense. Don’t listen to that. That’s just mansplaining, and you needn’t hear of it. Russia did it.
Last Thursday, a real human being named “Reality Winner” (middle name “show”?) who worked for the NSA leaked some important documents about Russia’s election hack that everybody knows about. Today, the 26-year-old was sentenced to a 5-year sentence for leaking documents about Russia’s election hack that everybody knows about. All this Russian hacking and Russia collusion just pisses me off so bad that I’m renewing my Crunchyroll subscription just to piss Drumpf supporters off by creating progressive western anime.
Pictured above: A white woman with blonde hair, probably a white supremacist / Nazi
Pictured above: A leaked photo a Russian in the process of hacking the election on a program that looks like some kind of music-recording application, but that’s how Russians hack.
Pictured above: I found this image very deep inside the dark web. It’s a Russian hacker doing Putin’s bidding.
In conclusion, Russia hacked our election; nuke ’em all; Reality Winner deserves to die and I hope she burns in Hell; Drumpf is not my President; donate to my Patreon.