Trump’s Nazi Fascist Russian-puppet regime may be coming to an end very soon: Manafort guilty, Cohen guilty, Omarosa has tapes, and it’s only 3 o’clock. And it’s always 4:20 somewhere!

By Lesby The Lesbian

As you know, I’ve hated Donald Trump all my life. Ever since he questioned my half-black nubian God’s birth-in-America status. I hate him so bad that I developed a stomach ulcer from thinking about how badly I hate him, and so technically, he owes me 20,000 dollars in medical bills. I bet he won’t pay, because he thinks I don’t “deserve it”, but I do. Trump stands for everything I hate: Men, blonde hair, cisgenderness, heterosexuality, light-colored skin (which is only okay on African albinos), and money. That’s right, I hate money. I wish I lived on a commune and fed hogs slop for my comrades. I wouldn’t eat the hogs myself because I’m a vegan, but I’d eat a hog made of soy.

So today, Paul Manafort was found guilty of 8 out 18 counts of crimes, and he was Trump’s campaign manager until Trump fired him, so you know he was close with Trump, until Trump fired him. This basically means the whole house of cards is coming down. Manafort even tried to get a meeting with Trump and Russians (Which is treason, because interacting with Russians, any Russians, is high treason) and also worked for a lobbying firm once. Say what!? Yeah, so you know this guy is human garbage. And he’s guilty. Take that, Drumpf.

Michael Cohen, Trump’s lawyer, also was found guilty or pled guilty or something. It’s one of those. He’s the guy who paid off adult actress Stormy T. Daniels to not disclose that she and Trump had sexual coitus with her while still married to his current wife, Melania Trump (who also is named Trump). Except we already know this, and Miss Daniels’ pay-off money came from shady campaign contributions from Vladimir Putin’s personal trust funds.

Omarosa has tapes, also. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Bad day for the Drumpfster. Checkmate, 45, checkmate. I’m sure whatever is on those tapes is going to be so juicy that it’s going to exude a lot of juice.

Looks like Trump is finished! Woohoo! I’m so glad that I get to say my leaders are corrupt enough to be overthrown from power. It really projects American strength to the rest of the world to show what a fucking unstable shit-show our nation’s highest office is. Frankly, I’m embarrassed to be an American, and I promise if Trump is not impeached within 48 hours from now, I’m moving to Canada, for real this time. Not even kidding.