Comedian Michelle Wolf has had her show cancelled, and The Fake News asks: “Wait, when did she have a show?”

By Lesby The Lesbian

As the old adage goes: “That’s news to us”. Here at The Fake News, we not only mean this literally, but also figuratively, and vice-versa. This is news to us. It’s also literally news to us, because we’re reporting on it. Although our research team seems to be unable to produce evidence of the actual show, our sources have indicated that if the show, indeed, exists, that it has been cancelled by Netflix.

Netflix, once a movie-renting service, has become its own network, complete with original shows and movies, giving a platform to failed movies that studios want desperately to pawn off, fat lesbians who do comedy shows that contain no jokes, and occasionally, some really cool stuff. I remember Michelle Wolf fondly from The Daily Show as being that girl that I could’ve swore was black endlessly monologuing about a bunch of shit I can’t remember, but she was really passionate about it I think, and I was rooting for her. “You can do it. You can do a funny joke.” I said, pumping my fist, but not in a way that was physically threatening. After all, even though I’m part of the LGBTQIA2QMBLETCOPFKX++ community, I have to check my microaggressions at the door.

Also, my dog, Ginger, who I’ve declared to be a non-binary transgender dog, was abused by xir former owner, who was probably a Republican. So if I make a fist, sometimes xe gets scared and hides, so I have to sometimes put Rachel Maddow on mute and hold up my hand so I can’t see the info-panel part of the green screen, so no anger-triggering sounds or images will set me off.

Oh yeah… Michelle Wolf…

uh, I guess she had a show and now she doesn’t. I was really getting into talking about myself and Ginger that almost forgot that I was writing an article for a fake news publication, but there’s not really much else to say. I guess… I dunno, Russia probably had some influence to pull some strings at Netflix to get the show cancelled? I know Michelle Wolf made quite a stir by dissing Donald Trump at the White House Press Dinner (which he did not attend), and then called his daughter a “feckless cunt”… or was that Samantha Bee? I feel like I have Alzheimer’s right now. I have to remember off the top of my head, because here at The Fake News, we’re not allowed to check facts or look up basic information. We’re more about the feels, and less about the reals.

Well, that’s all I got for now.